Fake Etymologies

Interesting is better than true.

Aus‧tria, proper n. /ˈɑs.tɹi.ə/

From Latin auster, meaning “the south wind.” The Germans refer to this nation as the “Eastern Empire,” but the Romans helpfully corrected the name by referring to its proper relative location.

Also, they helpfully passed a law not allowing Germans to marry Romans. The principle of translatio imperii was invented to get around this law, thus making all Germans not only Romans, but Holy Romans.